Well yes, and no.
Yes that’s our name, and no, not that one.
Certainly not. If you’re a true patriot, you’d know who we are already. We can’t just go revealing ourselves to just any old cyber-revolutionary. If we had to prove everything we claim, we’d be in a right old mess.
How do you know? Can you do the secret handshake? Can you prove that we’re not the Communist Party of Hong Kong?
Votes on Rate Your Comrade are cast by the masses of the internet proletariat. The Communist Party of Hong Kong accepts no responsibility for compatriots who are rated negatively. Besides, are you implying that membership of the Party is a bad thing?
If we have shortcomings, we are not afraid to have them pointed out and criticised, because we serve the people. Please let us know via our contact form.
After a long and arduous internal struggle, we grew tired of living a lie, tired of living in the shadows. For all these years, we’ve been in denial, pretending that Hong Kong has no place for political parties, that the people just weren’t ready to accept politicians walking, living and loving among them. But times change and t’s time to come out of the closet and say it loud; we’re red and proud.
Delay no more! Hong Kong Communist Party. We’re the Communist Party of Hong Kong! Hong Kong Communist Party. Splitters.
Because as we all know, the Chief Executive is a leader of the people, a helmsman steering the ship of Hong Kong politics through the turbulent waters of hostile foreign forces. As such, he or she must raise themself above the hurly-burly of political intrigue and be an independent and impartial
I’d really like to help my community, and I dream of being in the government one day. Do I have to join the Communist Party?
Leaving aside your hopelessly naive and subversive fantasies, the Constitution does not require you to join the Communist Party in order to run for government. But it helps.
Because if we told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.
What you talking about, comrade?
No we didn’t. We have the highest respect for the national flag and the Hong Kong one. Granted, they’re a bit bland, a bit unimaginative, some might say they’re a little derivative and uninspiring. But what can you expect? We’re Communists.
For what it’s worth, the Hong Kong flag is protected under the flags ordinance, and you can get three years for ‘defiling’ it. And we have no intention of going to jail over something so ridiculous as a satirical website.
And the long-forgotten wheel of camembert that I found in the back of my fridge the other week looks a bit like the moon. But it’s not. It’s just an unloved old cheese.
We engaged in lengthy internal struggle over this. It is true, English is the language of imperialists and capitalist roaders. The true language of all patriots is of course Putonghua, the language of all Chinese people.
However, it appears that many of our Hong Kong compatriots harbour some suspicion of the mother tongue. This is clearly due to their indoctrination at the hands of western imperialism.
We must seek to understand the thinking of Hong Kong compatriots until we have changed their incorrect thinking through patriotic education.
However, we must not lower ourselves to address them in their bastard dialect. For we are Chinese, and every patriotic Chinese must speak in the language of Confucius. Or failing that, in Putonghua.
Mao Tsetung would have described this as a “dialectical contradiction”. He was a funny guy.
The correct method of resolving such contradictions among the people is to speak English. At least until we have eliminated Cantonese.
We resolutely seek truth from facts. And as a political organisation operating in the post-truth era (and it’s good to see the rest of the world finally catching up with us on this one), we reserve the right to make up whatever facts we like.
As a handy rule of thumb, when we give a source for a fact or quote, then that fact or quote is probably verifiable. When we don’t, it probably isn’t.