Oh glorious bridge on the silvery bay
120 years we’ll mark this day
For that’s how long our bridge will last
Unlike those bridges in the past.
Oh mystical bridge, its length so great
Twenty times long as the Golden Gate
Or maybe more, or maybe less
The truth is anybody’s guess.
Record breaking bridge so long
I read it in the state media
The longest bridge in all the world
Or 29th in Wikipedia.
Oh mega bridge so excellent
Your shape so crocodilian
You’re better than any other bridge
By a factor of a million
Green Dragon Bridge a natural wonder
And saviour of the pink dolphin
Their numbers are up by 50%
So the China Daily was sayin’.
Glorious Socialist People’s Bridge
For drivers holding a permit
And only people who can afford
To pay the Party for it.
Fastest route across the Pearl Delta
From three hours to a half hour journey
Plus immigration and traffic congestion
Or an hour if you take the ferry.
Half a million tonnes of steel
Five million tonnes of concrete
Could make two million snowmobiles
And half of a Great Pyramid.
Mega bridge so highly rated
Your design is celebrated
And after every flood and fire
To greatness you still aspire!
With mega strength you span across
Shifting seabeds and lost dolosse
Sinking islands and fake concrete
There is no crisis you can’t cheat.
Praise the bridge of blood and tears
Burn 20 billion banknotes
And all the deaths and injuries
Will be forgotten footnotes.
You span three jurisdictions
All legal complaints were fucked
One country beat two systems.
Unique and gorgeous megalink
A wonder of central planning
Ten years to build, just two years late
All thanks to Comrade Xi Jinping!
Momentous occasion decreed by our leader
Who in his great wisdom decided to be here
This bridge that connects the three Greater Bay Cities
And makes foreign bridges all look a bit shitty.